Mission:Survival

A Balanced Life–Part 1

2011-01-08T03:52:00.000-08:00

A Balanced Life–Part 1

The Keys to Constructive Criticism: Part 2

2010-12-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

The Keys to Constructive Criticism: Part 2

1765

2010-08-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

1765

“Go Out and Improve the World!” by Paul Zane Pilzer

2010-08-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

“Go Out and Improve the World!” by Paul Zane Pilzer

Share With a Friend | Rich Dad PowerPack

2010-06-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

Share With a Friend | Rich Dad PowerPack

The Group of 7

2010-04-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

Change is Business

Change is business in this new world. A world of dramatic globalization. A world shaped by a communication revolution with zero end in sight. A world where 9-5 has been overshadowed by 24/7-365. A world where technology has given the 17- year – old next door the leverage to create some serious heat in your industry.

This new world relentlessly delivers change. The marketplace is now raw excitement. It’s also made business and life itself very unpredictable. Change is the new reality. Understanding the reality doesn’t necessarily make going through change any easier. When change is rocking my world, I turn to The Group of 7. The 7 Change Management Skills that will give you navigation, grounding, as well as open some awesome opportunities.

The Group of 7:

1. Be in the Business of developing Leaders.

The only way any organization – and any human being, for that matter- can win in the ring with change, is to start developing leadership capacity in everyone. This is the single most important business discipline required to overcome change. An organization is the sum of all parts- all people in all roles. If a leader hasn’t invested in developing the people, or has turned a neglectful eye on the importance of all the parts, the sum of that organization will unfortunately be less than zero.

An organization who develops the leader in everyone will not only adapt beautifully to the changing conditions, it will actually lead within its field.

2. Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You

Great words of wisdom from Actor Steve Martin. Be so good they can’t ignore you. No matter what your craft is, or your industry, or your position, become so good at it, you’ll make it impossible to go unnoticed. Committing yourself t mastery at what you do, is the only standard to hold yourself to in times of change. Anything less, and you’ll be left behind. So shift from victim to virtuoso.

3. Change Provides Free Business Consulting

Intelligent enterprises understand that hard business conditions deliver free consulting advice. During intense times, you have the chance to discover your weakness and become aware of your constraints. During times of change or chaos you have the opportunity to line things up and square things off that you might under normal circumstances neglect. The upside of change is it provides positive pressure to make you pivot and become even more efficient, effective, and profitable. ‘’Sometimes knowing your weakness can be your greatest strength.’’ Howard Schultz

4. Refuse to Major in the Minors

The best leaders stay staggeringly focused on the biggest To Dos. They have the fiery resolve to have almost military like concentration on their best opportunities and refuse to be sidetracked by anything else. Find the inner discipline to stick to the majors and say ‘’no’’ to the minors.

5. Take a step against Stagnation

Take a step ahead – even if you’re not quite sure where you are going. There is no perfect choice in business or in life. All we can do is to make the best choice in business or in life. All we can do is make the best choice when action is necessary. Forward movement has power. It will advance your life in one way or another. Doing nothing in the face of change, on the other hand, is the worst thing you can do. Doing nothing is the beginning of the end.

6. Change has an Outstanding ROI

While others resist change, refusing to grow with it, embrace it and use it to your advantage. Leverage it to promote your leadership abilities. Exploit it to build a stronger business. Capitalize on it and maximize its return. According to best selling authors and management consultants Hammer and Champy ‘’70% of business reengineering projects (aka changes) fail’’. In times of change, many businesses fall off course or drop out of the race entirely. Your best business opportunity is to become part of the 30% who actually win at change and advance simply because others can’t stomach the course.

7. Regain your Stride by Managing Processes

Rosabeth Moss Kanter a professor at Harvard Business School, suggests the importance of establishing ‘’certainty of process when there can’t be certainty about decisions.’’ Harvard Business Review. Even though you don’t know details, decisions or future outcomes, you can be certain about setting your priorities, goals, and action items such as scheduling meetings with key players. Reground yourself by managing the processes surrounding change.

Robin Sharma

The “Be” Attitudes

2010-04-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

The “Be” Attitudes

Be understanding to your
perceived enemies.

Be loyal to your friends.

Be strong enough to face
The world each day.

Be week enough to know
you cannot do everything
alone.

Be generous to those who
need your help.

Be frugal with what you
need yourself

Be wise enough to know
that you do not know
everything..

Be foolish enough to
believe in miracles.

Be willing to share your
joys.

Be willing to share the
sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see
a path others have missed.

Be a follower when you
Are shrouded by the mists
of uncertainty.

Be first to congratulate an
opponent who succeeds.

Be last to criticize a
colleague who fails.

Be sure where your next
step will fall, so that you
will not tumble.

Be sure of your final
destination, in case you
are going the wrong way
Be loving to those who
love you..

Be loving to those who do
not love you; they may
change.

Above all, be yourself.

The “Be” Attitudes TM
--- By Author Be Be ---
www.thebeatitudes.com

Life is a journey

2010-04-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

If your wings are broken, I say then walk to your destination.

If your sight is faded, then I say let your ears lead you.

If your heart is broken then take mine.

If your soul is adrift then call out to your brothers and sisters and they will risk all to find you.

If you feel undeserving, then I too am undeserving. If you feel you should not be loved then you deny the Force your love...

Read more: http://www.higherbalancejourney.com/mended-wings/

Can We Put This Off?

2010-04-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Attention all music lovers...

Every now and then, we like to work out our
Internet marketing muscles on interesting projects
on behalf of groups that could not otherwise
afford our services.

Here's a new project that anyone who loves American
music will want to take a look at.

You can help...and you can learn a lot by watching
how we approach the problem.

Details: http://www.SaveTheClinic.org

Happy Easter!

2010-04-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter To Everybody!

2010-03-31T04:05:00.000-07:00

Big God!

Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn’t. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back.
The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. “Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?” he asked.
The inexperienced fisherman replied, “I only have a small frying pan.”

Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throwback the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, big opportunities that God give us. Our faith is too small.
We laugh at that fisherman who didn’t figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan, yet how ready are we to increase the size of out faith?

Whether it’s a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way.

You can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13.) Nothing is too big for God.

Remember:

Stop telling God you’ve got big problems.
Tell your problems you’ve got a Big God!

-------possibly by Wayne Rice---------
Compliments of Harry Updegraff, Jr.

Ten Marriage Quips!

2010-03-17T09:24:00.001-07:00

Quip 1: Marriages are made in heaven, but so again are thunder and lightning.
Quip
2: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Quip 3: Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Quip 4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Quip 5: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Quip 6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Quip 7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Quip 8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law allows only one wife.
Quip 9: Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
Quip 10: Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

You never know

2010-03-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

You never know when someone
Might catch a dream from you.
Or something you say may open up windows
Of a mind that seeks light;
The way you live may not matter at all,
But you never know, it might.

And just in case it could be
that another’s life, through you,
might possibly change for the better
With a better and brighter view,

it seems it might be worth a try
at pointing the way to the right;
Of course, it may not matter at all,
But then again, it might.

Author Unknown

Instructions for Life

2010-03-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

1.When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
2.Remember that your character is your destiny.
3.Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
4.Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
5.Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
6.Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
7.When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
8.Talk slowly but think quickly.
9.Don’t judge people by their relatives.
10.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
11.Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.
12.When you say, ‘’I’m sorry, look into the person’s eyes.
13.Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
14.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

By The Dalai Lama

THE HIDDEN WIRING OF THE BEST LEADERS

2010-03-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

THE HIDDEN WIRING OF THE BEST LEADERS

Sure, we're in some challenging times economically. Sure, the landscape of business is going through massive upheaval. And sure society's look is completely different from even a year ago. Yet, the fact remains this is the single best time in the history of humanity to be in business - and to be alive.

There have never been so many opportunities to deliver rich value to your customers. It's never been so easy to build a globally admired brand. And there have never been so many chances to influence people by the example that you set - and the influence that you offer.

Real leaders have trained their brains to focus on the possibilities and opportunities available with military-like focus. They block out the noise of the doomsayers and shut out the voices of their critics. They get that their mindset and their personal energy are two of their most valuable resources. So then protect them well.

Here are 5 things you can to do rewire your brain to develop the mindset of the best leaders in business:

1. Sell Your TV

Ok, this might be a dramatic (game changing?) move. But much of TV news operates on the sale of fear. The more negative the news, the more scared people get. And the more scared people are, the more they'll watch the news. But every piece of data you allow into your mind is the seed of an outer result. Put excellent information in and you'll deliver excellent results.

2. Value The Great Ones

Reading heroic books, biographies of people who've done great things and listening to inspirational audiobooks is a brilliant move to create your best life. Leadership is a lonely sport. Critics will try and knock you down. Competitors will try and knock you out. And the unexpected will visit you just about every single day. Your antidote to the stresses that you'll face as you stand for your absolute best? Work hard to stay inspired. In a world that discourages, do whatever it takes to maintain your courage. To build out your dreams.

3. Watch Your Words

The words you use determine the feelings you'll feel. The best performers understand that each word spoken has power. Use positive, encouraging, energetic words. Avoid negativity, gossip, criticism and condemnation. Just watch what happens to your mindset (and heartset).

4. Avoid The Energy Vampires

Smart leaders get that who you surround yourself with drives who you'll become. Play with excellent, ethical, inspired and passionate people and their stardust will rub off all over you. Avoid people who can't wait to dump their resentment/negativity/anger and fear all over you.

5. Own Your Power

It's so easy to play victim versus be a leader (Without a Title). In my upcoming book "The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable on Real Success in Business and in Life" (public launch: April 6), I write that the key switch to flip that changes the whole game is this one: switch from victimhood into leadership. Too many people give away their power to create positive results. They blame. They make excuses. They do nothing.

But we all have power, even if we have zero authority. Every single person alive today has the power to inspire. The power to innovate. The power to influence. The power to act. The power to serve. And the power to Lead. Use it. Please. (The world demands no less of you!).

Keep Leading Without a Title,

Robin Sharma
http://www.robinsharma.com

Happiness is smile shaped

2010-02-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

Happiness is smile shaped
Research into happiness suggests that our levels of happiness change throughout our lives.
People were asked how satisfied they are with their lives.
Most people start off happy and become progressively less happy as they grow older.
For many people, the most miserable period in their life is their 40s.
After that most people's levels of happiness climb.
This graph shows average life satisfaction based on extensive research from the British Household Panel Survey between 1991 and 2003.
It seems men are slightly happier on average than women in their teens, but women bounce back and overtake men later in life.
Women start with lower levels of average life satisfaction than men.
The low point seems to last for longer for women - throughout their 30s and 40s, only climbing once women reach 50.
Then women tend to overtake men.
Men start slightly higher than women on average, and their lowest point is their 40s, climbing again once they reach 50.
Graph source: British Household Panel Survey 1991-2003
Andrew Oswald, Department of Economics, University of Warwick and Nattavudh Powdthavee, Institute of Education, University of London.
****

:: Jiggling the Web for Instant Search Engine Rankings

2010-01-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

:: Jiggling the Web for Instant Search Engine Rankings

How Anger Hurts Your Heart

2010-01-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

How Anger Hurts Your Heart
Yellers, ragers, and door slammers beware -- frequent high levels of anger have now been linked to heart disease.
By Katherine Kam
WebMD the Magazine - Feature
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

If you knew that frequent anger might raise your risk of heart disease significantly, would you continue to blow off steam by yelling and smashing things during an argument or getting furious if the office email crashes during a rushed, stressful day?

It's time for hot heads to take heed: Increasingly, the negative, irritable, raging, and intimidating personality type worries heart researchers and doctors alike. "You're talking about people who seem to experience high levels of anger very frequently," says Laura Kubzansky, PhD, MPH, an associate professor at the Harvard School of Public Health in Cambridge, Mass., who has studied the role of stress and emotions on cardiovascular disease.

The key here is "high" levels. Moderate anger may not be the problem, according to Kubzansky. In fact, expressing anger in reasonable ways can be healthy. "Being able to tell people that you're angry can be extremely functional," she says. But explosive people who hurl objects or scream at others may be at greater risk for heart disease, as well as those who harbor suppressed rage, she says. "Either end of the continuum is problematic."
Anger's Physiological Effects on the Heart

So how exactly does anger contribute to heart disease? Scientists don't know for sure, but anger might produce direct physiological effects on the heart and arteries. Emotions such as anger and hostility quickly activate the "fight or flight response," in which stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, speed up your heart rate and breathing and give you a burst of energy. Blood pressure also rises as your blood vessels constrict.

While this stress response mobilizes you for emergencies, it might cause harm if activated repeatedly. "You get high cortisol and high adrenaline levels and that is the cardiotoxic effect of anger expression," says Jerry Kiffer, MA, a heart-brain researcher at the Cleveland Clinic's Psychological Testing Center. "It causes wear and tear on the heart and cardiovascular system." Frequent anger may speed up the process of atherosclerosis, in which fatty plaques build up in arteries, Kiffer says. The heart pumps harder, blood vessels constrict, blood pressure surges, and there are higher levels of glucose in the blood and more fat globules in the blood vessels. All this, scientists believe, can cause damage to artery walls.

And anger might not be the only culprit. In Kubzansky's own research, she found that high levels of anxiety and depression may contribute to heart disease risk, too. "They tend to co-occur," she says. "People who are angry a lot tend to have other chronic negative emotions as well."
Emotions and the Heart

According to an analysis of findings from 44 studies published last year in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, evidence supports the link between emotions and heart disease. To be specific, anger and hostility are significantly associated with more heart problems in initially healthy people, as well as a worse outcome for patients already diagnosed with heart disease.
Emotions and the Heart continued...

The same study also showed that chronically angry or hostile adults with no history of heart trouble might be 19% more likely than their more placid peers to develop heart disease. The researchers found that anger and hostility seemed to do more harm to men's hearts than women's. Among patients already diagnosed with heart disease, those with angry or hostile temperaments were 24% more likely than other heart patients to have a poor prognosis.

In light of such findings, some doctors now consider anger a heart disease risk factor that can be modified, just as people can lower their cholesterol or blood pressure. "We're really good at treating heart attacks, but we're not that good at preventing them," says Holly S. Andersen, MD, cardiologist and director of education and outreach at the Ronald O. Perelman Heart Institute at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center. "Stress is not as easy to measure as your cholesterol level or your blood pressure, which are clearly objective. But it's really important that physicians start taking care of the whole person -- including their moods and their lives -- because it matters." The bottom line: "A change of mind can lead to a change of heart," Kiffer says.
Coping With Anger

Got a hair-trigger temper? Counseling and anger management might help in the long term, but what can you do for a quick fix?

Recognizing signs that you're getting angry and shifting your frame of mind will help, says Wayne Sotile, PhD, author of Thriving With Heart Disease. The next time you feel your anger -- and heart rate -- rising, try these coping statements to get a grip fast:
"I can't accomplish anything by blaming other people, even if they are responsible for the problem. I'll try another angle."
"Will this matter five years from now? (Five hours? Five minutes?)"
"If I'm still angry about this tomorrow, I'll deal with it then. But for now, I'm just going to cool off."
"Acting angry is not the same as showing that I care."

"Entrepreneurial DNA"

2010-01-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

Have you you ever thought of starting your own business?
If your answer is 'yes' you can understand the road to it
may be a rather difficult one.
Out of 10 times you may fail 9 times and maybe win only 1 time.
Maybe...
There might happen that you lose 10 times out of 10.
Bad luck...
How to avoid so many failures and become a winner?
There may be many circumstances under which your luck may take
various turnings.
Business is closely connected with psychology.
You must understand people. But first of all you have to understand yourself.
What you are good at, which are your weakest points.Nobody is good at everything.
You need to know yourself and that knowledge will help you to find the best
niche for you.
The harsh reality in starting a business
is this - If you are not in the right business
to begin with, chances are, you will NOT see
the success and financial results you are
expecting this business to provide you.

This is a free 48 question survey
that will scientifically determine what your
"Entrepreneurial DNA" is.
It will only take about 3-5 minutes to complete
and you will immediately get a full 24 page custom
report with your scientific results.

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=AQ.zh&m=1b6m_w0ZxLVZpH&b=krO3S28dMPHPSCMnZnBelg

How to Stop Thinking Too Much - wikiHow

2009-12-29T11:38:00.000-08:00

How to Stop Thinking Too Much - wikiHow

Find friends on facebook!

2009-12-27T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ruta Catfish

Susikurk savo ženkliuką

2009-12-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends!
May your life be full of joy and happiness!
I wish you the least of the worst, and the most o the very best.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

European Commission > Health-EU > ... > I

2009-12-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

Influenza

Influenza is a highly contagious viral disease, which typically occurs as an epidemic during the cold months. Serious human influenza epidemics are rare, but recurrently they are more severe than the normal seasonal outbreaks, in which case they are also called pandemics. A pandemic occurs when a new influenza virus emerges and starts spreading all around the world as easily as normal influenza.

All EU Member States are working together to coordinate preparedness for any influenza pandemic. In the event of an increased risk of an influenza pandemic, the measures envisaged in the national and EU preparedness and response plans would be put into action. The European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control plays a key role in coordinating surveillance. Further action includes medical and non-medical countermeasures and close coordination between the national authorities, the European Union and the WHO.

The EU will continue to work to improve sharing of relevant information and to coordinate risk management measures. This will include cooperation on stockpiling antiviral drugs, capacity to produce better influenza vaccines faster, improving national plans and producing better risk management tools.

The European Commission is leading the EU coordination of the response to influenza A(H1N1) (the so called Swine Influenza Virus and Mexican Influenza Virus) responsible of the current pandemic.
Links to the EU activities
Pandemic (H1N1) 2009
EU coordination
EU work to prepare a global response to influenza A(H1N1)
Regular updates on the situation
ECDC information and updates on influenza A(H1N1) at EU and international level
Information from Member States, Candidate and EEA countries
Influenza
Influenza
Links to EU legislation and activities to monitor and address possible outbreaks of influenza
Prevention and control of Influenza
The European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control plays a coordinating role in epidemiological surveillance at European level
Medisys - Medical Information System
Medisys is a real-time news alert system for Medical and Health related topics. It is particularly focused on diseases, bioterrorism, nuclear and chemical factors.

Dealing with Difficult People: 17 Tips to Keep You Sane

2009-11-26T12:09:00.000-08:00

WebMD Commentary from "Good Housekeeping" Magazine

By Sarah Felix

Use the following strategies to end the emotional tug-of-war, once and for all.
like to imagine that I’m a kind, patient person. That I embody calm when confronted with prickly personalities. That their aggravations roll off me like water off a duck’s back. But this delusion is quickly dispelled every time I have a run-in with a difficult person.

Take last week: My friend (let’s call her Liz) and I decided to meet at noon for lunch. She’s often late, so I took my time walking over to the café. But mid-stroll, I became paranoid that Liz would be punctual for once, so I rushed to be there on the dot. She was nowhere to be seen. I breathed deeply, rationalizing that now I had some coveted alone time. That lasted all of four minutes. At 12:08, I called Liz on her cell, convinced I’d given her the wrong address. She never picked up. Ten minutes later, she showed up with a big smile and zero apology.

“Oh, don’t be mad at me. You know I’m always late,” she said. “It’s just part of my personality. Besides, haven’t you enjoyed all the great people watching?" My reaction was less like a duck, more like a rabid dog. The worst part was that my emotional equilibrium had been knocked off-kilter. It took me a good 15 minutes to calm down enough to actually enjoy spending time with my friend.

Trying personalities like Liz’s are everywhere — in your home (possibly sharing your bed), at the office, in your book club. They may even be complete strangers. What makes them difficult may be an undisputed character flaw — they’re sycophantic or self-centered or perpetually gloomy — or simply a quirk that rubs you the wrong way. But inevitably, a brush with them leaves you fuming or at least out of sorts.

Instead of devising elaborate avoidance schemes or barbed comebacks, you can change your dynamic with these sanity stealers. Use the following strategies to end the emotional tug-of-war, once and for all.
Turn the Spotlight on You

“You must change how you react to people before you can change how you interact with them,” says Rick Kirschner, N.D., coauthor of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. That requires some self-examination.

People who irritate us usually have something to show us about ourselves. “Ask yourself: How is this person holding up the mirror to me?” suggests Sandra Crowe, author of Since Strangling Isn’t an Option. For example, being around my chronically late friend reminds me how quick-tempered and impatient I can be — not my favorite traits. Reminding myself of this may keep me from bouncing off the walls when I find myself waiting for her yet again.

If it’s a good friend or intimate, think, too, about your own behavior in the relationship. Have you contributed to the strain by saying yes instead of no too many times? Did you neglect to signal early on that something was bothering you? “If you don’t look at your own actions, you end up making the other person 100 percent of the problem,” explains Susan Fee, author of Dealing with Difficult People: 83 Ways to Stay Calm, Composed, and in Control. That also puts the solution squarely in her hands — and out of yours.

Delving into the root cause of your frustration can turn up problem-solving insights. Fee provides an example from her own life: “When I first got married, my mother-in-law drove me crazy. She was always hovering and intrusive. But after asking myself again and again why she bothered me so much, I realized what was going on: Her behavior was foreign to me because I never knew what it was like to be mothered — when I was 12, my mom had a debilitating stroke. It became clear that this was just my mother-in-law’s way of showing her love for me. Once I understood that, our relationship improved.”
Switch Perspectives
“Most of the time, difficult people just want something different than we do,” says Ronna Lichtenberg, author of Work Would Be Great If It Weren’t for the People. “Or they handle things differently.”

It’s no surprise, then, that you may be your difficult person’s difficult person. It could be a matter of opposite outlooks: Super-friendly people, for instance, may be at odds with all-business-all-the-time types — and vice versa. The same goes for laid-back folks and workaholics. Understanding those basic differences gives you a glimpse of someone else’s viewpoint, which may help temper your irritation.

If you’re having trouble feeling empathetic toward someone you care about, try analyzing her behavior. This strategy worked for Alicyn Mindel, a mom of two from Providence who struggled for years with her friend “Dina,” who was a terrible listener. “Whenever I started talking about my personal problems, she would turn the conversation around to herself. Then, one day, a different pal was talking about attention-starved people, and I realized Dina fit the description perfectly. From that moment on, every time Dina and I got together, I gave her a big, long hug. The transformation was amazing: She became warmer, more open, and over time, she started asking me about my life — without segueing into her own issues.”
Choose Your Approach

Armed with your insights, you now need to decide whether to confront the perpetrator. As a general rule, you should talk things over only with someone you’re close to, whether that’s your husband or a longtime colleague. It’s probably not worth stirring the pot if you only see him once a month, like an in-law or acquaintance on the PTA board. (For people you don’t know at all — say, the salesclerk who’s more interested in her cell phone chat than in helping you — you’ll need a different strategy.)

You can also skip the conversation if you know it will fall on deaf ears, or if you suspect it will be taken the wrong way. That was the case with Mindel: “I never addressed the issue with Dina because she tends to be defensive. I knew I’d have a better chance of fixing our friendship by changing my actions.” A good litmus test for determining whether or not to start a conversation is first to imagine the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself, Will our relationship survive? If you’re confident it will, set up a time to talk. If it won’t, try a tactic that’s less confrontational.

Start a Dialogue...

Before you say anything, you have to do a little homework. How exactly do you want the behavior to change? In the long term, what are you expecting from this relationship? Until you can answer those questions, you’re not ready to talk to anyone.

If you fear a bad reaction, plan ahead: “Figure out in advance how you’re going to respond,” advises Fee. “Will you walk away? Breathe deeply until he calms down?” This exercise can also help you focus on what might trigger a heated response.

Make sure no one will interrupt the conversation and pick a time when you’re not hungry or tired, so you can give it your full attention.
...And Follow These Talking Tips
Start the conversation with sincere flattery — it’s especially effective if you’re afraid you’re going to hurt someone’s feelings. With loved ones, “explain that the reason you’re having this talk is that you care so much and want to improve the relationship,” suggests Fee.
Call out the behavior, not the person. “You need to learn how to separate the individual from the act,” Lichtenberg explains. “Confronting someone is not so different from disciplining a kid. You don’t say to your child, ‘You’re bad!’ You say, ‘It’s bad that you drew on the wall.’”
Cite specific examples of what’s bothering you. Avoid vague comments like, “You’re such a snob.” Instead say, “Last week, you made three disparaging comments about the clothes I was wearing.”
Spell out what you want to change. The next time your Freud-wannabe friend tries to be your personal shrink, you can say, “I appreciate your advice, and I know you want to be helpful. But most of the time, I really just want an ear. I’m telling you this because I want to be able to share things with you.”
Request feedback as soon as possible. If you don’t, it can turn into a lecture. Right away ask, “What do you think about what I’ve said?” Or, “Have you been feeling the same way?”
Pay attention to more than your words. “Only 7 percent of communication is what you’re actually saying — the rest is your tone of voice, expression, and body language,” says Kimberly Alyn, author of How to Deal with Annoying People.
Take a Less Direct Approach

Sitting down for a heart-to-heart won’t work with everyone. At times it’s better to resolve an issue in a more roundabout way, even with loved ones. For example, humor can be especially effective. If your sister has a habit of psychoanalyzing you every time you chat, Alyn suggests saying, “Wow, I feel like I should be lying on a couch for this. How much do I owe you?” Here, more ways to fix those frustrating interactions:
Put the difficult person to good use. When Bette Walter, an entrepreneur in Blue Bell, PA, is considering a new business move, she turns to a friend who always shoots down her plans: “I ask her what she thinks before she can tell me what a dumb idea it is. She’s very logical, so it’s helpful.” For know-it-alls, steer the conversation toward a topic you’re interested in, so you can at least learn something until you can make your getaway.
Remember this rule: If you can predict it, you can plan for it. “If you see an incessantly forlorn coworker walking your way, get up and leave your desk,” says Kirschner. “Or pick up the phone and pretend you’re speaking to someone. If you stop listening to her, she’ll eventually stop coming over.”
Get the last word. If someone is giving you unsolicited advice, saying “Thanks” will usually put an end to her rant. When you’re around a braggart, just smile, advises Crowe. Then reply, “Wow, that’s really great. I’m so happy for you.”
Plan an exit strategy. When you can’t get a chatty person off the phone, pretend that you’ve been interrupted by someone else, so you can quickly say, “Sorry, gotta go.”
Take a Less Direct Approach continued...

My ultimate strategy is to remind myself that every strength is a weakness and every weakness, a strength. Yes, my friend Liz is always late, but her time-isn’t-an-issue attitude also makes her relaxed and carefree — and that’s what I love about her. The next time we meet, I plan to bring a good book. Or maybe I’ll just tell her to meet at 11:40 instead of noon, so that we both show up right on time.

Originally published on: February 28, 2008

2009-11-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

Key cancer spread gene found

The gene plays a role in many cases of breast cancer

Scientists have pinpointed a gene linked to more than half of all breast cancers.

The gene, NRG1 (neuregulin-1), is also thought to play a role in many bowel, prostate, ovarian and bladder tumours.

The University of Cambridge team said the breakthrough should provide "vital information" about how cancer spreads.

Experts agreed the finding, published in the journal Oncogene, could represent a very significant advance in the fight against cancer.
I believe NRG1 could be the most important tumour suppresser gene discovery in the last 20 years
Dr Paul Edwards
University of Cambridge

The Cambridge team showed that the gene - which helps to suppress the growth of cancer - is located on chromosome 8.

Cancerous cells are known often to miss part of that chromosome, and when the researchers analysed breast cancer samples they found that at least part of the key gene had often been lost.

Everybody is born with an intact NRG1 but it seems that in some cases it can become damaged - leaving the way open for cancer to thrive.

Lead researcher Dr Paul Edwards said: "I believe NRG1 could be the most important tumour suppresser gene discovery in the last 20 years as it gives us vital information about a new mechanism that causes breast cancer.

"We have got strong evidence that the gene is implicated in breast cancer but we have no reason to think it's not the same for other cancers, including prostate and colon cancer.

"Finding out what genes have been turned off in these cancers is enormous help in understanding what has gone wrong with their biology."

Arlene Wilkie, of the Breast Cancer Campaign, which part-funded the study, said: "Knowing the identity of this gene will lead to far more detailed studies of how it works and how it is involved in breast cancer development.

"This research is a major step forward in understanding the genetics of cancer and could open up a host of new strategies to improve diagnosis and treatment."

Lesley Walker, of the charity Cancer Research UK, which also funded the study, said more research was now needed to understand how the gene was silenced, and how exactly it influences the development of cancer.

She said: "It might then be possible to develop ways to bypass the gene or target treatments to the defect."

Source: BBC NEWS/Health

2009-11-22T08:21:00.000-08:00

Jargon Word of the Day - Sunday November 22, 2009

good thing

The layman version: a beneficial or positive feeling about something. The hacker version: self-evidently wonderful to anyone in a position to notice. As in, "The Trailblazer's 19.2K baud PEP mode with on-the-fly Lempel-Ziv compression is a good thing for sites relaying netnews."

It may also be something that can't possibly have any ill side-effects and may save considerable grief later, as in, "Removing the self-modifying code from that shared library would be a good thing." When said of software tools or libraries, as in, "YACC is a good thing," it specifically connotes that the thing has drastically reduced a programmer's workload. The phrase came from hackers long before it came from Martha Stewart.

2009-11-22T03:14:00.000-08:00

Five Things I Do Every Day

by Thomas M. Schmitz

Engage
Minewould not be much of a career if I didn’t engage in actual work. Like attorneys and doctors, I approach my profession as a practice and I strive to give every client my best effort. The nice thing about working is that it gives you experience. Every new task, project or client helps me to accomplish even better work.

Learn
I go out of my way to learn something new every day. While it's easy to think in terms of learning practical applications such as new skills or techniques, gathering industry information is important too. Keep up with your professional culture. Stay abreast of the business climate. Understand the newest rules and regulations. Know which competitors are growing or struggling. Know who's hiring, even if you're not looking for a new job.

Knowing everything you can about your work, profession and industry prepares you to recognize and take advantage of opportunities.

Network
Who you know is more important than what you know. Yes, it's a worn, tired cliche. I don't care; it's true. Meeting other members of your profession helps you to learn about what's going on in your industry, which will lead to new opportunities. It's where trade secrets and little known techniques get passed along. But the best reason to network? It's fun. There's nothing like going to the occasional after-work party, conference or event to renew excitement and recharge your mental batteries.

Teach
Teaching serves two important purposes. First, sharing your knowledge with others is admirable, it’s a contribution to your profession. And when you teach you become an expert. Organizing your knowledge and experience into coherent communicable bits forces you to understand what you know. The act of presenting itself reinforces your knowledge and will make you more comfortable and reliable during other types ofhigh-pressure situations.

When you teach people they perceive you as the expert and as a leader. That's a good reputation to foster, especially when you're pursuing new clients or career growth. Whether you’re training a fellow employee, presenting at a conference or lecturing at your local community college, teaching gives back far more than it takes.

Evangelize
Do you cheer for your profession? Do you volunteer at conferences and events? Do you serve on an industry group or association committee?

If you love your work then you owe it to yourself and your profession to tell other people, often and enthusiastically. If you desire progress in your career, seek opportunities to serve. Volunteer. Organize. Produce events. Like teachers, evangelistsbecome recognized as experts. Colleagues desire to meet them and to become friends.

2009-11-21T06:23:00.000-08:00

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

We are all different yet we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. Why? Because the marketing business makes money, because others compare us to themselves or other people, because some people get a boost out of putting us down, and from all these experiences we start feeling not good enough. Comparing yourself to others is unhealthy and unnecessary. Here's how to stop.

Steps

Recognize that comparing yourself to others is a bad habit. Culture often projects flawless skin, big eyes, full lips, small nose, pure white teeth, smooth and shiny hair, curvy body, and designer clothes for women and they portray them as being happy. They portray tall men with flawless skin, six packs, and designer clothes with lots of women, and they define that that is what makes a man happy. Culture is extremely successful in being able to brainwash people into believing they should look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain someone, when in reality every single one of us is different. What culture does is categorize people and they want you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle. That's why lots of men and women resort to plastic surgery, hide away from society, and grow up thinking that there's something wrong with them. Comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, is a fine way to throw your self-esteem down the drain as there will always be those who are 'better' than you, and those who are 'worse' than you. In the end you will most likely end up wishing you were different with thoughts of worthlessness. It takes you nowhere, wastes a lot of time, and puts you in a psychologically terrible place.
Realize that everybody is different, because we are.People are born to be different; no two of us are the same. We have different mindsets, we interpret things differently, we have different experiences, we feel different emotions. Even identical twins are different from each other. We all will always have room for improvement; nobody is flawless, whether it is on the outside or on the inside. As much as some people may want to believe otherwise, nobody is perfect.It would be wise to stop letting people get to you, and be open-minded and aware of what you are doing to others. Something you can do is start thinking how different they are from you.
Stop being afraid to be yourself.Whatever size, color, religion, gender, race, or sexual orientation, don't be afraid to be yourself. Nobody but you has the right to dictate what you do, what you think, and what you believe in. There is only one you; nobody has more rights over another person to live. Everybody comes into the world the same way; we all age, feel, analyze, and eventually die, so nobody is more special than another. We are all different. If you've forgotten who you are, find yourself again.
Forgive and learn. Learn to recognize that holding a grudge only ties you down from what you really want out of life. Untie the knot and set yourself free. Better yet, analyze and learn what actually hurt you, and prevent it from happening again in the future.
Understand that not everything is possible.You might have heard the saying, 'nothing is impossible'. In reality that's only denialism and false hope. You can't fly, change the weather, time-travel, change the past, live forever, make someone else change unless they are willing to, fit in with everybody, or be somebody else. There are many more things that cannot happen in reality. Be yourself and appreciate where you are now.
Learn to deal with change and embrace it.
Whatever makes you happy, whatever floats your boat. If you feel you need self-improvement and have set yourself an attainable goal, go for it. If you believe that you really need change, do it now. Be sure that you're doing it because it will make you happier, rather than impressing somebody else. For example, stop swearing if it makes you feel better. Learn to meditate. Start helping others. Learn a new skill. Improve your reading speed. Learn how to write poetically, work towards a better grade, be nicer to someone, try to be more outgoing, train yourself to run faster, learn how to wear makeup better, find clothes that will fit your frame, be a better wikiHow contributor, work harder towards that promotion, learn to better manage your time, change your habit of being a perfectionist, etc. Do it because you feel good about it, not because you feel bad about yourself. This is your life.

Tips

Don't be afraid to put yourself first. You have needs, too. Take care of yourself. If you have a tendency to bend over backwards for others, read How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and How to Overcome Martyr Syndrome.
Make some mutual friends.
It's better to be the original you than to be a copy of somebody else.
Learn to be patient and accepting with others. This can take a lot of training to do, but in the long run it will be beneficial for everyone.
Realize that some methods can work for many others but not for you. When this happens, don't quit. Keep searching.
Learn from your experience.
If you don't have a solid way yet, find a way to let out your anger, frustrations, disappointments and concerns, a way that you can depend on - such as keeping a journal, making a blog, making music, talking or writing about it with someone you trust.
It's better to do it now than think back sometime in the future and ask yourself, "what if?". It's better to get hurt then recover from it than having to accept that you lived a very dull life, realizing that you were the one who held you back.
You can never be too old to dream, and it's never too late to achieve your dream, one way or another.
Some things can be done and changed overnight; other things cannot be. Habits for example, can be extremely difficult to drop. Don't be discouraged. Comparing yourself to others is a bad habit a lot of people have. It can take some time to change. Don't give up. Think about it this way; if you don't ever give up, you can't ever fail.
If you've ever felt like giving up on life but came back from the thought, it's because you have hope in you. Hold onto that hope. Always have hope in whatever you do, wherever you are.

Warnings

Beating yourself is a waste of time, energy, and self-esteem.
Don't allow other people to compare you with others, either.
Don't encourage others if you don't want to hear it. Don't make fun of yourself; others may start thinking it's acceptable to make fun of you.
Don't accumulate unnecessary pressure. Let others do their part too. If they don't, make them. If they won't, just let it be. If you have too many responsibilities, chances are you won't be able to accomplish what you really want to, or even need to.
While comparing yourselves to others in excess is generally unfavorable while also conducive to paranoid behavior and depression, keep in mind it is important to still remain competitive in some measure to be successful.

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

2009-11-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

What is life about? Winning? Losing? All happens to everyone from time to time. The only thing that really matters is how one manages to overcome the problems and losses.

Today’s life is full of Life Challenges. We live in the world that is becoming a so-called ‘’Global Village’’. People are connected with each other no matter which part of the world they live in. And many problems they sometimes face are very much alike in spite of one’s location. Sometimes it’s hard to cope with life impacts on you. It’s always good to have something or somebody to relay on.